Overcoming Flaws

It irks me when things don't go my way, I can get very annoyed in fact. Simple daily things like dropping my phone or missing the bus or when plans don't go as planned. I lose my temper, whine and complain. In almost every aspect of my life I am pretty insecure too — my appearance, my personality, my talents etc. You might think, "How can you be insecure? You certainly don't seem insecure!" Well, there's always someone better, and comparison is a battle I’m still fighting. I just can't accept things the way they are.

I watched this TED talk in class a few days ago and it inspired me. Do watch the video if you have some time.

Kathryn Schulz raised a point on culture having a role to play in the chase for perfectionism and I thought it was really true.


"Think back for a moment to elementary school. You're sitting there in class, and your teacher is handing back quiz papers, and one of them looks like this (right). This is not mine, by the way. (Laughter) So there you are in grade school, and you know exactly what to think about the kid who got this paper. It's the dumb kid, the troublemaker, the one who never does his homework. So by the time you are nine years old, you've already learned, first of all, that people who get stuff wrong are lazy, irresponsible dimwits -- and second of all, that the way to succeed in life is to never make any mistakes.

We learn these really bad lessons really well. And a lot of us -- and I suspect, especially a lot of us in this room -- deal with them by just becoming perfect little A students, perfectionists, over-achievers. Right,Mr. CFO, astrophysicist, ultra-marathoner? (Laughter) You're all CFO, astrophysicists, ultra-marathoners, it turns out. Okay, so fine. Except that then we freak out at the possibility that we've gotten something wrong. Because according to this, getting something wrong means there's something wrong with us. So we just insist that we're right, because it makes us feel smart and responsible and virtuous and safe."

Since young, we have been accustomed to think that making mistakes = imperfect = failure = not “normal” = not accepted.

Don't follow the social norms? Delinquent. Weirdo.

Failed your math test again? You stupid or what. Forget about your dream to be a doctor lah.

Ew you’re too ugly/fat/skinny/socially awkward...

We were taught not to be okay with ourselves. We were taught that being different is wrong. That there's only one ideal. We wind up desperately trying to change ourselves. Plastic surgery, hiding in the closet pretending to be straight, having more friends so you can validate yourself. And it feels terrible. It sucks, that it is absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable in our own skin.

You might think it’s a little exaggerated or like “err obviously right Fang? If not what should our world be based on? The more flaws the better?” Well no. It is true that striving for excellence is the essence of human progress. If people gave up trying just because they kept falling from the bicycle, no one would learn how to cycle.

However, the TED talk reminded me that I couldn’t control everything. I am only human. For awhile, I was so consumed with what I couldn't be and forgot all that I simply am right now.

And everyone struggles. The pretty picture they paint on their social media is not an accurate depiction of their lives. The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our "behind-the-scenes" with everyone else's highlight reel.  We fail to see the good that we are because we are so blinded by what we think is good. So don't be jealous of others, don't compare. You are uniquely you and you have something everyone else doesn't have. You don't have to change yourself to fit in.

Life is so much more than all the trivial and materialistic things we worry about. I believe that in order to obtain inner peace and my ideal being, I need to just let things be. Simply be.

“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

— Marcus Aurelius 

I am sure many of you have probably heard the phrase “Let it be” or “Que sera, sera”. It just means that instead of struggling to change things we cannot change, we should change the way we think about it. We must understand that many things are not within our control and everything is pretty much unpredictable.  Only when we are able to come to terms with the fluidity that is life, will we be able to sail along with the currents and not get washed over. When we wish for things and we do not understand that it might possibly not go our way, we get beaten down and disappointed when it really doesn’t turn out right. But if we understand that we can’t control everything, we will be calm in the face of adversity and we will also be in a better state to solve the problem.

It's not that we should leave everything up to fate and stop working hard for the things we want,  but sometimes when things don't go our way we just need to take a deep breath and accept it. You don't have to be anyone else, just your best self.

I'm flawed, but I'm alive and that's something to be happy about.

Alek Wek's mother told her she was beautiful all the time, and she believed it.

Who tf is Alexa??????

Some of you might be wondering "WTF? Since when was Fang Rong's name Alexa?".. Well here's the explanation.

Being a little girl with a Chinese name while everyone else had "cool" English names, I've always wanted an English name ever since I was young. I've wanted to look for a name that started with the letter A because both my siblings' self-given English names began with an A (Ashley, Aaron). So when I was in primary school I tried a couple of names like Angel (omg) and Arielle (oooomg) but they never lasted. When I was secondary two, I came across the names Alexa and Alexis and I fell in love with them.  I love how they looked and sounded but more importantly I love the meaning.

Alexa/Alexis
Form of Alexander. From the Greek name Αλεξις (Alexis), which meant "helper" or "defender" of mankind, derived from Greek αλεξω (alexo) "to defend, to help". 

If you were close to me then, you'd know that I really REALLY loved those names. However, I felt that it was too late to change my name because everyone already knew me as Fang Rong or Fang. So although I really identified with those names, I let them slide.


Recently, I met a new friend and she also had a Chinese name but coincidentally she named herself Alexa too. We talked about it for a bit and it really set me thinking and gave me a boost to try the name Alexa once more. I bravely (yes, it required a fair amount of courage) added Alexa to my Instagram name to kinda test the name out. It has been about three weeks now and I'm actually really liking it!

I will start introducing myself as Alexa to new people from now on and maybe in a couple of years I'll add Alexa into my NRIC. 




Signing off,
Foo Fang Rong, Alexa ;-)

Kindness Begins with Yourself

I've been too hard on myself.

Everyone has the right to feel what they feel, but all this while I've denied myself this right — thinking that it was all my fault that this happened. 

"Be the bigger person Fang, forgive and bury the hatchet."

I've tried to push everything aside and start over. I forgave, and I tried. I tried to control the jealousy and feelings of betrayal. But every Snapchat/tweet/Instagram picture, I just ache a little inside. I used to be there doing that, but not anymore. I feel like I'm a bad person, letting negativity get the better of me. It almost feels like being forced to hang out with my ex lover and his new girlfriend and pretend I'm comfortable. 

I looked at myself become bitter and bitchy and thought, what is wrong with me? This shouldn't even affect me? This is nothing. People have the right to make new friends with one another if they clicked better.

Well if new friendships were natural occurences that can't be helped, I believe I too deserve to be true to how I feel (which also can't be help). The fact is, I should feel sad, I should feel betrayed. Every emotion has a reason and it won't go away until it has taught us what needed to be learnt. All along I was convinced that I needed to stop whatever I was feeling, that I just needed to be more understanding and kind. But I wasn't treated the same way, no effort was made to consider my feelings. If anyone else had been in my situation, they'd understand, hopefully.

Be kind to others, but be kinder to yourself.

Maybe Second Best is the Best

“May my heart be kind, my mind fierce, and my spirit brave.”

—	Kate Forsyth

It's already a month into 2015 and I haven't done my annual sum up of 2014 hahaha.. 2014 was the best year of my life so far. If you guys have been following my (pretty much desert-like) blog for the past few years, my annual year reviews were something like

"this year was tough" 

"this year was a roller-coaster" 

"probably my worst year yet"

Well on the contrary, 2014 was rather smooth sailing for me. 2014 was in fact the best year I've probably had. Of course, the major highlight was meeting Didier. 

We are always so obsessed with Firsts - first time you kissed someone, first time you held hands, first time you loved someone, first time you had your heart utterly broken by another human. However, we don't give enough credit to Seconds - when someone picked up the fallen pieces of your heart, showed you you deserved much more love than you were shown, made you fall in love once more despite of your wary heart.

I don't believe in getting into flings and relationships that have no substance, however, I do believe in loving freely and deeply and giving yourself ample chances. When I first met Didier (January 2014), I was well recovered from my previous heartbreak, very comfortable with being alone and I didn't want to get into a new relationship because I was convinced that I'd be better alone.

So when Didier and I were in our going-out phase, I was reluctant to get together with him. I even told Candace, "I'm like 90% sure I won't get together with Didier". There was nothing wrong with him, I just did not want to give another person a chance to shatter my heart once more. I was afraid, and I didn't want to take the risk.

However, as we continued to hang out, I knew Didier was different. I felt so comfortable with him. We didn't have much in common, in fact we differed greatly in our interests. But something felt right, we were on the same frequency. I found myself being 100% Fang Rong to someone, something that I've never done before with anyone. I never knew I could be loved and accepted for all my flaws. He made me love once more, after being convinced that I might possibly never find love ever again. I could go on and on forever on how special he is as a person but that'd take too much effort and.....I'm lazy hahahaha

All jokes aside, thank you for being the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My Superman

All of you who feel lonely and rejected, listen up now. Everything happens for a good reason. A few months before I met Didier I was at the pit bottom of my life, everything was horribly wrong. I was very sad and the future just seemed so bleak. But suddenly, something in me realised that I had the power to change my life around. I actively sought for help and read books that motivated me tremendously. I used that sadness positively and empowered myself to have a positive outlook of people and life. I had time to heal and to become one with myself and my emotions. All that made me emotionally and mentally stable and ready for a healthy relationship when I met Didier. Looking back now, I'm glad I felt unloved and broken before I met Didier. Because now I know, God was saving me for someone special.

Love yourself first. “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

In other news, I took a big leap of faith and entered a new school in 2014. Turned out to be an amazing decision as well as now I very much enjoy studying and going to school :-) I've proven to myself yet again, always do something you love and enjoy (heart) > something that is more practical (head). 

Other stuff that happened to me in 2014 made me a sour person. I found myself consumed in jealousy and negativity and I feel like I have changed so much since February last year. I was so positive and hopeful. Now trusting people required some sort of consideration. But I guess the most important thing is to be self-aware. I am aware that I haven't been my best self lately, and I am going to start with small baby steps to steer myself back to the right direction. Life is a constant process of self-improvement. And like I always believed, "Change the way you think, change your life". Forgive. :-)

As a whole, 2014 was very kind towards me and I love my life very much right now. 

Thought your first love was magical? Wait till your second.

Love The Person, Not The Gender

Pink Dot is a non-profit initiative to promote the acceptance of the LGBT community in Singapore. I strongly believe that it is a great project because what we need in this world is love, acceptance and non-judgement. I am definitely attending this year's Pink Dot. In my excitement, I Googled for more information on Pink Dot and found myself at the comment section of this video. Please do take your time to read the comments if you would like to understand the intensity of disgust I am currently feeling right now.

Bringing up my point on non-judgement, honestly, who are we to judge? All these arguments that different people should not be accepted is saddening. If you're a female opposing this idea, how does it feel like if we're still living in the olden times where females are looked down upon and despised as lower humans? If you're Asian and people criticise you for your skin colour, how would you feel about that? 

Racism, Sexism, Ageism, and other -isms. 

It is the same logic here. Just because people are different doesn't mean that we should judge them. Haven't we heard of the saying "everyone is different and unique in their special way"? If you agree with that, let me bring your attention to some of the absurd comments made on the above video in promotion of the Pink Dot 2014 campaign.

How would you feel if you were gay and reading these comments? It's okay to disagree but it is not okay to be so terribly rude and insensitive about it. Is there really a need to be so unkind?

In Wenwen Lam's argument, if we cannot fit into a society we should just kill ourselves. I'd say that Wenwen Lam is thinking like Hitler. Let's just gas chamber Asians, Blacks, Females, Hispanics, People with Disabilities! Oh and since we are at it, how about including ignorant people? I mean, they don't fit into our society right? Because they're different. Why not just have a bunch of synonymous humans who are Caucasian, blonde and smart? 

What Wenwen Lam is implying in his/her stance is that, if you don't fit the social norms you should kill yourself. If you're fat, kill yourself. If you're skinny, kill yourself. If you're not pretty/handsome, kill yourself. We should not accept people because they are different. That's what you're implying right Wenwen Lam?

I might be rambling, but I am trying to bring across a point. Just because people are different does not mean we should treat them any different.

Most of you reading this are not gay or bisexual or transgender. Neither am I. But what if you were? What if you genuinely loved someone from your same gender with all your heart? What if the tables turned and we were only supposed to like people from the same gender? Are we correct to think that we should love the gender and not the person for who he/she is?

Should we discriminate against the minority because they are the minority?

Touching on the transgender point, many of the transgender individuals feel that they were trapped in the wrong body since a young age. They had picked up so much courage to stand for what they believed in and changed their sex. It is not easy to make a decision to change your gender, especially considering the amount of judgemental people in this world. I would like to take this moment to say that I am so proud of all you warriors. 

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Maybe you don't want to love them. But in this day and age where everyone is judging everyone, would you rather be loved and accepted for your differences or ridiculed and mocked for them?

What I am pleading you for once, is to let go of all prejudice and hate. Close your eyes and put yourself in their shoes. Try and understand for once. Does your disgust at the sight of two women holding hands give you the rights to hurt other people with your unkind words?

You might ask, how about the religious aspect of this argument? My response to that is, I believe every religion, how different, revolves around the values of love, kindness, acceptance and non-judgement. Yes, the bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, but did the bible also state to hate people who are different? Hate the sin, not the sinner. I would like to emphasise that I am not religious, therefore my argument here might not be accurate. But this is what I feel. Will God rather we love or hate? 

"Whatever your religion is or if you don't have one, God created us or something must have created us. So whoever created us, have made us straight, gay, lesbian etc. So who are we to go against that something or God when we ourselves are not the Creator but the created ones. The purity of the heart comes not from waging hatred but accepting you, me and everyone else as equal beings, nothing more and nothing less. For there is a point of time when each of us shall return to the Creator or that something and its either you return good or you return bad. What makes you feel so damn sure that you are gonna be a part of Heaven when your whole life is dedicated to condemning other beings that you think are doing everything wrong and all that you have done is purely right. Negativity in this life exist because people are still discriminating without realizing that negative and positive attracts which then creates a strong equilibrium that translates into a word called PEACE. If you think you still deserve to be a part of Heaven, how about start that journey by learning to LOVE, and most importantly learn to be HUMAN." (https://www.facebook.com/schazwan.soldato/posts/10152254447873261)

We can make a change together. We're blaming 'society' yet we are society. So to make it a better place, we must first change ourselves first. Start from yourself. When you see a gay couple in public, smile at them. When you see a transgender on the street, smile at them. Wait, fuck that. Smile at everyone you see because we are all the same and smiles are powerful :-) Rid yourselves of all those negative judgemental thoughts and love.

Sometimes we only see how people are different from us, but if you look hard enough, you can see how much we're all alike. We are all humans, we all have a heart, a brain and we are so similar. We desire to love and be loved by the people around us. 

Do people who are different deserve less love than the people who "fit the society"?

I am not expecting people to change their views after reading my post. After all Paul Coelho said "Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear". But I hope, at the very least, that I have set some of you thinking. We cannot simply accept everything the society throws on us. 

People who are still anti-LGBT, I hope that you can at least be kinder with your words. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, and so are the people of the LGBT community. You might not agree that it's right, and that's fine. I believe humans can coexist with their differences as long as people are accepting and understanding towards each others' differences.

People who are pro-LGBT, thank you for being so understanding. I hope that you will also understand that there will always be people who are against LGBT, and it is okay. Stand strong for what you believe in and hope for a better world. Hope that one day, we can see two men holding hands at a supermarket as something as normal as receiving treatment from a female doctor.

All you lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender fighters, be strong. There will be change, slowly but surely. There are many people who support you lovely humans.

My sister told me, "We won't be able to change people's thinking. We can only be less judgemental ourselves in the hopes of making people around us less judgemental also." Against or pro LGBT, I hope that humans can be kinder to one another regardless of their skin colour, gender, age or sexuality.

For more information on Pink Dot 2014, check out their website http://pinkdot.sg! See you there in pink :-)

Lonely Advice

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.                                                                           
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2013.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5. The best is yet to come.
6. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Body Positivity

“But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.”

― Tina Fey


At what age did you start noticing your physical flaws? At what age did beauty start to mean concealing pimples, covering fats and losing weight?

Fuck what society thinks. It is hard to look like the "perfect" person okay. That's a fact we must accept and embrace. Only 10 out of 100 (obviously accurate, not) look that good. Have a mind of your own.

Don't judge others, be more understanding and loving. If we can change the way we treat others, we can change the way this world works. Slowly but surely. Love is the way to go.

I believe those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Work on being super awesome instead of crying about not looking "perfect". Work on the things you can actually change (and that is being productive, good job).

Be kinder, help people out whenever you can, connect with nature, play a sport, sing a song, heal yourself. Be the best version of yourself and I am sure many people will love you for it. 

What's in your heart and mind determines the lifelong relationships you will build with the people around you (and not how you look like a supermodel all day every day).

Learn to accept your body and all your insecurities. Learn to love yourself first. If you don't, who will? 

Exercise to be healthy, put makeup to feel even more fabulous than you already are, dress to be yourself.

You are beautiful. Boy, girl, fat, thin, muscular, short, tall, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, straight, disabled, flat-chested, too much boobs, caucasian, asian, chicken, cow, dog, bird. 

You are beautiful to me as long as you have a big heart, a deep mind and a great personality.



It's hard, I know. If you need a listening ear or a helping hand, foofangrong6@gmail.com.




Photo credits: http://throneroom-of-the-damned.tumblr.com/post/63266883247/body-positivity-for-the-win-9-out-of-16-are-woc

Zendagi Migzara

30 Lessons I've learnt from 2013:

1. Love and kindness is always the way.
2. Everything is a mind game. Change the way you think, change your life.
3. Everything still happens for a good reason, if there's no good reason for it, it wouldn't happen. Either a blessing or a lesson.
4. Accept things the way they are. Only then you can find inner peace and happiness even in the dullest moments.
5. Hold on to those who never left you. 
6. Hard times reveal true friends. 
7. Pain is real, but so is hope.
8. People judge what they don't understand.
9. If we aren’t living vulnerably, in connection with others, we aren’t really living at all.
10. Be the kind of person you want to be friends with. 
11. Let go of negative people. Surround yourself with who and what you want to be.
12. Sadness is healthy. Welcome sadness, just don’t let it consume you.
13. Some loneliness and silence is necessary and healthy. Filling every minute makes it hard to listen to our intuition, or that inner guiding voice.
14. Spend time alone, reading, writing, art, music and exercise heal you.
15. Traveling heals.
16. Nature heals.
17. Good things take time.
18. Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a larger intelligence and a deeper heart.
19. View everything from different perspectives.
20. Don't bother comparing yourself with people. Be the best version of yourself and stay true to yourself. Many people will love you for that.
21. Your mother was right about it all, and if she wasn’t, her heart was in the right place.
22. Feel free to fall, but always be prepared to catch yourself.
23. All things are difficult before they are easy.
24. Listen, love, apologise, forgive.
25. All things are delicately interconnected.
26. Whatever comes, let it come. What stays, let it stay. What goes, let it go. Let it be.
27. You will find happiness when you stop hiding.
28. Always try to be the reason someone smiles. Always help people whenever you can. Small gestures can amount to a lot.
29. Some things never change.
30. The best thing you can put on is confidence.

Some of my favourite quotes from 2013:

• “Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.” — Osho
• “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” — The Dalai Lama
• Some people think to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, it’s the strongest people who feel it, understand it, and accept it.
• What this world needs is a group hug.
• "You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them." — Iyanla Vanzant  
• "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn." — C.S Lewis
• “The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday.” — David Levithan, Every Day
• Sometimes, when you are not getting the love you want, giving makes you think you will.
• We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don't, we worry it's not there.
• "What touches you is what you touch.” — Margaret Atwood
• “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” — Theodore Roosevelt
• "Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me. No hope no harm, just another false alarm." — The Smiths
• "This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." — Elizabeth Gilbert
• “Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.”
• “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
• When someone is unlovable, that's when they need love most.

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Even when we were sad we were happy

2013 has gone and 2014 has already begun. (Seems like it's becoming a tradition to cry when the clock approaches 12mn every 31st of Decemeber)

I can feel myself growing further and further away from 2013. One part of me wants to stay. Hold on to all the memories, good and bad. Maybe even relive them.
The other part of me wants to move on. To have a new beginning. To start afresh with the lessons I've learnt.

But I obviously know which way I need to go.

Last year was a big mess but I found good in it. I've managed to find love in the worst situations and I am thankful for that.

I'm thankful for the mornings in school that I found someone to cry to, to talk to.
Afternoons of dance and filming to distract me from sadness and despair (and it made me happy actually).
Evenings with the best friend and the soul-mate at some playground, drinking from plastic cups, stargazing and soul-searching.
And the nights that turned into dawns.


Is it possible to hold on and move on at the same time though?


I can safely say that 2013 was a year of growth.
2014 shall be a year of action.

Maybe I like this roller coaster / Maybe it keeps me high

love harder

love is patient
love is kind
love is when you give love and expect nothing in return
love is risking it all for their wellbeing and happiness
love is hurting the people you love, unintentionally
love is always being there for someone
love is telling the truth even though your voice shakes
love is forgiveness
love is acceptance
love is compassion
love is never giving up on someone
love is in your gestures and words
love is being strong
love is fighting for what you believe in
love is giving in
love is swallowing your pride and apologising
love is showing you care even though you’re angry
love is understanding
love is butterflies in your chest (the beautiful kind)
love is dancing around your room
love is singing at the top of your lungs
love is being carefree
love is gentle
love is making someone’s day
love is second and third and fourth chances
love is spontaneous
love is doing something you enjoy
love is always being there in the moment
love is waiting
love is anticipation
love is being mature with your thoughts
love is being playful with your actions
love is shared happiness
love is when you’re at peace with yourself and the present moment
love is always finding your way back home
love is putting others before self
love is unconditional
love is pain
love is joy

update (9/2/2014):

love is curious

love is adventurous

love is risky

love is quirky

love is hipster

love is cucumber

love is confusing

love is your heart talking

— Lynnie C.

Reasons to Be Happy

Now playing: Wild Child — Crazy Bird (link to song here)

1. Real friends
2. Soulmates are real
3. Good vibrations
4. Stars always listen
5. Sunrises
6. Sunsets
7. Helping people in need 
8. You can always make someone smile by telling them how much you appreciate their company, how thankful to have met them and how happy you are that they are alive (Well unless you are a creepy serial killer and you are saying it in a creepy way)
9. Family vacations
10. Good memories
11. Not so good memories (lessons)
12. Gifts, songs or things that remind you of someone or a good memory
13. Good music
14. Adventures
15. Sleep-in mornings (brownie points if it's raining)
16. McDonalds' breakfasts
17. Polaroids
18. Opportunities
19. Theme parks
20. Hot chocolate
21. Chocolates
22. Nutella
23. Nice-smelling flowers
24. Meeting people that are hard to let go (This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It shows that we have experienced having something that means/meant so much)
25. Dogs and cats and birds and bees and horses (I don't know why I said 'bees' but I guess they are cute when they don't sting or fly in your face)
26. The fact that downs will always eventually become ups because life is a roller coaster and that is how roller coasters work
27. Good books
28. Amazing authors
29. You are always part of this universe
30. Rainy days
31. Sunny days
32. People you can count on
33. Squealing and happy spazzing at crushes 
34. Songs or quotes that fit your mood/situation perfectly
35. The ability to just let loose and silly dance around your room
36. Previous point applies to singing as well, or anything that makes you feel free and comfortable
37. You are always in control of yourself and your life. You may feel controled and contained, but unless you're in a prison you should be pretty all right. It all boils down to your thinking → actions and words
38. Occasional rebellion
39. Kept promises
40. Hand-written letters
41. Surprises
42. Snuggling
43. Hugs
44. Jokes
45. Meeting new friends, making new connections
46. When one group of your friends meets another and they team up and mock you (I mean, it's so nice that two groups of your friends can get along well enough to 'bully' you)
47. Random reminders from people you love that they love you
48. Freedom
49. When people acknowledge your effort
50. When people are willing to forgive you
51. Dates
52. Meditation
53. Nice pictures on Tumblr
54. Amazing song covers on Youtube
55. Technology advancements
56. At least one in the 7 billion people on Earth is feeling the same as you are right now
57. Funny movies
58. Deep conversations
59. Funny and easy-going conversations
60. Comfortable silences
61. Flirting
62. You have a roof above your head and have some sort of electronic device advanced enough to read this entry
63. Food (Children in Africa are dying of hunger)
64. Music festivals/concerts of your favourite bands
65. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RLTanW1DGo You wouldn't want to not watch this
66. Real-life stories that remind you that there is kindness in humanity (and there really is)
67. Dreams
68. The feeling of openness 
69. The feeling of awareness and mindfulness
70. Road trips
71. Beautiful scenery 
72. Subway singers
73. Completely random outbursts of random happiness at 2am (as such)

This list is non-exhaustive.


There are so many reasons to be happy but we often choose to focus on the things that make us bitter. I understand, and I am guilty of it as well. I cry and let myself be sad but then I pick myself back up. It is all in our perception of things, it's all in your mind. Take time to marvel at the good things. Read books. Meditate. You need to realise that the way you are feeling now will not be permanent (bad or good). Nothing is ever too late or too soon, it is when it is supposed to be. Everything happens for a good reason, either a blessing or a lesson. We all yearn for what we have lost. But sometimes, we forget what we have. Look around you, what makes you happy? 

Be happy, be contented, be accepting, be understanding, love will save your soul.

(By the way, I apologise that my past few blog posts were copied-and-pasted-no-brainers hahaha)