Enough

As I've mentioned, I'm still a human learning to be a better person every day. And today I find myself coming back to the same problem that I've been rounding about for ages — self-worth.
 Yeah I talked about self-worth before and how it shouldn't be made in comparison to others but it is obviously easier said than done.

There are times I look at myself. And all I see is all that I'm not. All that I could be and all that I should be. I centre my thoughts around negativity. I think, why am I like this? Maybe I should be like her instead. I sometimes even feel ashamed of myself. And it's stupid. No one should ever feel ashamed of who they are just because they don't comply with a set of standards that god knows who created. Who is to say what is an ideal person and put others down based on that?

I fail to see the people around me who love me despite all the flaws. I fail to recognise my talents and give myself some credit for it. I fail to realise that I'm not who I am because of what others are like.

I think this stems from humans' terrible habit of judging. We ourselves know the mean things we are capable of saying about another person so we feel the need to be perfect to ensure that others won't harbour such thoughts about us. A huge huge flaw in our society. We tend to feel that we are superior or inferior compared to others and that brings about an imbalance that doesn't need to exist. Being judgemental will always come back and bite us in the butt, an undying cycle that is often overlooked.

So I urge you to refrain from judging others. Stop all negative thoughts about others. Instead, try to empathise. Understand why others are the way they are, and always remember that however they are, they are not better or worse than you. If we can view everyone else as our brothers and sisters on this Earth, nothing more and nothing less than ourselves, we will understand the true meaning of coexisting in harmony. Without prejudice or hate. We will not only be able to eliminate self-esteem issues, but many global issues that are plaguing our world today.


Fret not because we are very much in control. All we have to do is change the way we think. We have a choice to look past the person we are not and work on the person we want to be. This is framed by the thoughts we have - about ourselves and the world around us. As humans, it is arguably within our nature to be greedy and to always want what we can't have. That can be a good thing, a driving force for improvement. But if taken the wrong direction, it can lead us to a never ending road of discontentment.

For me, I don't want to be the person I'm jealous over. I don't want to have a nice body or many friends. I realised I don't need that, because that isn't me. I want to be the best me I can be. I want to appreciate all that I've  got because to be honest, I'm pretty damn lucky myself (and I'm sure you are too).

Life is a continuous learning journey and although I write these words I know I will continue to doubt myself, second guess my worth and feel upset from time to time. But that's okay, as long as I keep in my heart that we are all humans and we are all equal. And through it all, I'm just me.

I want to listen to stories. Your story.

I want to learn something from everyone I meet, whether it's good or bad.
I want to learn why they behave the way they do - did they have a bad day? Were they too caught up in the wrong things?
I want to know why they are so bitter about the world.
I want to know what hardships they had to face when they were younger.
I want to know what makes them smile, I want to know what makes them cry.
I want to know why they hate themselves?
I want to hear them talk about something they are passionate about.
I want to hear them talk about something they hate.

Only when I understand can I make the world a better place - for me and the people around me. If we learn the simple concept that everyone has a reason why they act the way they do, we will be able to accept them for who they are and not get mad or upset.

Put yourself in their shoes. Rough childhoods, insecurities, heartbreaks, pride. The list is endless. There are so many layers that contribute to the person we see today. The problem lies deep within oneself. And the only way we can help is by understanding.

It is pointless to get angry, it doesn't solve or change anything. I recently read a quote that said,

"It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."

- Tom Gates

To bring change, you have to be calm. To bring change, you shouldn't let irrationality cause you to do something you cannot Ctrl-Z.  To bring change, understand.

We got it all wrong

Hey guys!

It's been a long while since I updated this space. I've been a lot more active on Dayre, where I recently started this mini project called #Today. I use that tag when I learn something new or when I want to share something encouraging. Check out my Dayre at www.dayre.me/9fang6


Anyway, today I want to talk to you guys about something that we got all wrong. We are living in this world, where we aim to be rich, famous and successful. We want to be better than others. We are so consumed by that idea so much so that we forget that the most important thing in life is love.

It is loving the people around you - people you care about and the complete strangers you meet on the bus. It is loving the environment. It is loving what you do. It is loving all things around you.

But instead, we are filled with discontent. We get angry when people don't believe in the same ideologies, we get frustrated when things don't go our way, we get upset with our own appearances. We want to control everything. We want to be superior so that we feel better about ourselves. This superiority complex creates an imbalance that is detrimental to the human race.

I am an agnostic atheist - meaning that I do not believe in a God, but I'm open to religion if it one day touches my heart. But the teachings of Buddhism has always resonated with me. Inner peace, acceptance, kindness, forgiveness and empathy. And I do believe that every religion advocates the same, that's why I respect all religions and their followers. I understand that everyone has different beliefs and I respect that. It does not matter if you're a Muslim, Christian or Jew. If you are nice and kind, I will respect you and I will respect your beliefs. Likewise, regardless of your gender, race, age, sexual orientation, I will give you all the respect you deserve. We just have to understand that although everyone is different, we are all fundementally the same and we should treat everyone with respect. We can all coexist despite all our differences with just a little bit of compassion and understanding.

Everyone has a purpose on this Earth, and we have to accept ourselves and our place. I'm not saying we shouldn't strive to be better people, but we shouldn't try to be someone else. In life, things won't go as planned. We are going to lose people we love, there's always going to be someone better, and we are going to face hardships that will make our life seem not worth living. But that's where love comes in. I urge you to look around and if you see that someone needs help, help them. If you see someone needs a shoulder to lean on, be there for them. Be the person you'd need if you were in their position. And that is how take a step towards making the world a better place.

Let me share with you something rather personal. In 2013, I was at the lowest point of my life. I was juggling JC work, intensive dance rehearsals for SYF and crazy filming schedules. I would wake up for school, go for dance practice, then film till 2am. This would go on for months. And obviously, my schoolwork was heavily compromised. I did badly for my mid-year exams. Everything just started going downhill from there, I became depressed and I felt like nothing was going right. I thought no one loved me and I was worthless. I felt like I was always second best at everything. I did everything I could to escape. I snuck out of home, went out at night, drank and partied - whatever it took to make me feel just a little bit of something. I was a void. I was nothing. Around October 2013, I got caught by my parents for sneaking out and I was grounded. I had my laptop and phone taken away for almost a month and I couldn't go out or contact any of my friends. I felt miserable. Miserable wouldn't even cut it. I left JC a week before promos because I just could not handle whatever was on my plate. But something amazing happened. Something within me ticked and I was enlightened. I realised, if I couldn't change the way things were, I should change the way I thought about them. I accepted things that I could not change and worked on the things I could. I started treating the world kinder than it did me, I told myself that only with a positive mindset will I get better. I lived by kindness, compassion and empathy. And trust me on this, optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you. True enough, things did get better.

To this day it still amazes me how it happened, because I still have no clue how I managed to pick myself up from 0 to 100. I guess the many books I read (Tuesdays With Morrie - recommended), the songs I listened to (Continuum by John Mayer), and my lovely counsellor, Monica, helped direct me towards the right path. She helped me realise that my resilience is something I should be proud of - for radiating positivity even in my darkest moments. She did this activity with me on the last day of our sessions and told me to sum up the hopes I had for myself in the future.

I wanted to

1. Be at one with the universe
2. Be at peace with myself and everything around me
3. Strive to be a better person
4. Gain wisdom and a mature understanding of life
5. Help others
6. Always be kind
7. Experience positive mood states
8. Be loyal to my friends and family
9. Connect with nature
10. Be appreciative of everything
11. Enjoy music, art and drama
12. Be physically fit

And I still hold these very close to my heart. This whole ordeal was the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has shaped the person I am today and taught me so much. I grew from being a person who was always unsatisfied with myself to a person who now understands that being the best self I could be is more than enough. Which is why I always believe that everything happens for a good reason.

"…we always have a choice. We can become bitter or we can choose to become bigger and better people. When we learn to recognize that every experience can bring a blessing of some kind, our upset is softened."
- John Marks Templeton (Wisdom From World Religions: Pathways Toward Heaven On Earth)

And digressing a little, as I type this, I feel loads of guilt. Because I know, I take my family for granted. They are the biggest support team in my life, no matter what mistakes I've done, they've never failed to show me love and hold my hand. I was so desperate to look for approval from all the people that didn't matter. All the people that would leave me at the slightest danger. Through all the chaos of finding myself, I had lost sight of the people who never left my side. Always remember those who love you.


I watched this video quite some time back and I chanced upon it today again. I love the message Kalina is trying to bring across. I myself am super bad with small talk. I always feel super awkward and uncomfortable because I fear silence and so I'm always scrambling for stuff to say. She proposes that instead of the superficial "the weather sucks" conversations, we should ask deeper questions and learn more about people and their stories. I love this project.

I want to change the world. If I were ever to have a little bit of fame, I promise I will help this world. Just as people like Michael Jackson and Audrey Hepburn did. They had a vision and they spread ideas. I won't be able to reach their level of influence, but anyhow, I want to share love with as many people as I can. Influence, however big or small is important in shaping the world. Our time on this Earth is merely a few decades long. I don't want to be remembered as an actress or whatever. I want my messages to resonate years after I'm gone. And that's what I am going to do. I will continue in the media industry (which thankfully happens to be something I'm passionate about), not for the money or fame. I will use this opportunity to reach out to others, hear their stories and change lives. If I can have a positive impact on every person I meet then I think that's very well enough.

So I urge all of you to live passionately, love deeply and give endlessly.

"When you begin to look for reasons to believe that every experience is a blessing, you will start to find those reasons."

- Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood (The Passion Test)

Fix Yourself

This Thought Catalog summed up my thoughts. Happiness comes from within. Love with compassion and without expectations.

Here is how you love without expectation: 

You love yourself first. Not necessarily most or best, but first. You don’t cancel plans that you were excited about because somebody else wanted your time. You don’t rearrange your schedule to accommodate a person who may bail at the last moment anyway. You are strict with yourself – even when you want to give in to the impulses of others –because you know that what you want and what you need is not always the same thing. 

You need someone you can rely on and that person has to be you. At the end of the day, if everyone else bails and flakes and fails to show, you will still be there. So don’t look at yourself as a sad consolation prize. Put in the work. Become someone you’re proud of. If you’re who you’re left with at the end of the day, be happy with who you’ve ended up with. Make sure it’s someone you’d pick over a flakey, unreliable love interest or friend. 

To love without expectation, you choose honesty in your own endeavours. If you don’t want games, you stop playing them. You text back. You show up. You say what you mean and you don’t make time for maybes. In a world full of dishonest people, you choose not to become one of them, even if that makes you lose a foolish game or two. Like attracts like and if you’re looking for straightforward, no-nonsense people, you will have to become one. So you wean out a few losers on the way there. So what. You’re becoming who you want to be. 

To love without expectation, you show compassion. You remember the times when you’ve lied and cheated and fell short of the expectations other people set for you, and you forgive yourself for them. You understand that you had a liability but you did not live up to it and while you may not be okay with your choices, there was a reason why the cards fell the way that they did. You remember that reason. You remember that other people may have similar reasons when they let you down – reasons that have nothing to do with you at all. 

You learn to detach from your personal investment in why people do what they do, because chances are it doesn’t exist. You understand that you have infinitely less to do with other people’s actions than you’ve always believed. And you learn to be fine with that. Learn to be free within it, even. 

To love without expectation, you learn what’s not in your control. You understand that everyone has their own demons and nobody owes it to you to fight them. At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away. There is no in between. There is no bartering, bargaining, expecting and falling short in love. There is just choosing to be there or to not. Anything in between is a tired, self-interested excuse for love. 

To love without expectation, you learn to appreciate what’s there. Other people are not ours to own or rearrange or expect things from and the more anticipation we pit onto others, the more we let ourselves down in the end. All we can do is appreciate who we have when we have them, and let them go when we do not. To lend our hearts like vacant hotel rooms: celebrating others when they come in and letting them go when they leave. Understanding that at the end of the day, all we can do is refuse occupancy. But we cannot force anyone to stay. 

To love without expectation, you have to be okay with yourself. Okay with opening your doors, spreading your arms, baring your heart and understanding that not everyone is going to be gentle with it. You have to know that you can recover from those aches, that you can heal your own wounds, that you can trust yourself to walk away from the situations that do not grow or aid you. 

Because here’s the thing about placing expectations on others: at the root of expectation is need. Need for others to accept you, to validate you, to tell you that you’re good and worthwhile and strong. And if you can do that for yourself – if you can live up to your own expectations and desires, then the need for other people to do so disappears. The need to bend over backwards, to accommodate others, to seek validation from those who do not deserve your heart, disappears. 

Who to love and who to leave becomes simple. And expectation slides out the window. 

(from Thought Catalog: http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/07/here-is-how-you-love-without-expectation/)

Overcoming Flaws

It irks me when things don't go my way, I can get very annoyed in fact. Simple daily things like dropping my phone or missing the bus or when plans don't go as planned. I lose my temper, whine and complain. In almost every aspect of my life I am pretty insecure too — my appearance, my personality, my talents etc. You might think, "How can you be insecure? You certainly don't seem insecure!" Well, there's always someone better, and comparison is a battle I’m still fighting. I just can't accept things the way they are.

I watched this TED talk in class a few days ago and it inspired me. Do watch the video if you have some time.

Kathryn Schulz raised a point on culture having a role to play in the chase for perfectionism and I thought it was really true.


"Think back for a moment to elementary school. You're sitting there in class, and your teacher is handing back quiz papers, and one of them looks like this (right). This is not mine, by the way. (Laughter) So there you are in grade school, and you know exactly what to think about the kid who got this paper. It's the dumb kid, the troublemaker, the one who never does his homework. So by the time you are nine years old, you've already learned, first of all, that people who get stuff wrong are lazy, irresponsible dimwits -- and second of all, that the way to succeed in life is to never make any mistakes.

We learn these really bad lessons really well. And a lot of us -- and I suspect, especially a lot of us in this room -- deal with them by just becoming perfect little A students, perfectionists, over-achievers. Right,Mr. CFO, astrophysicist, ultra-marathoner? (Laughter) You're all CFO, astrophysicists, ultra-marathoners, it turns out. Okay, so fine. Except that then we freak out at the possibility that we've gotten something wrong. Because according to this, getting something wrong means there's something wrong with us. So we just insist that we're right, because it makes us feel smart and responsible and virtuous and safe."

Since young, we have been accustomed to think that making mistakes = imperfect = failure = not “normal” = not accepted.

Don't follow the social norms? Delinquent. Weirdo.

Failed your math test again? You stupid or what. Forget about your dream to be a doctor lah.

Ew you’re too ugly/fat/skinny/socially awkward...

We were taught not to be okay with ourselves. We were taught that being different is wrong. That there's only one ideal. We wind up desperately trying to change ourselves. Plastic surgery, hiding in the closet pretending to be straight, having more friends so you can validate yourself. And it feels terrible. It sucks, that it is absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable in our own skin.

You might think it’s a little exaggerated or like “err obviously right Fang? If not what should our world be based on? The more flaws the better?” Well no. It is true that striving for excellence is the essence of human progress. If people gave up trying just because they kept falling from the bicycle, no one would learn how to cycle.

However, the TED talk reminded me that I couldn’t control everything. I am only human. For awhile, I was so consumed with what I couldn't be and forgot all that I simply am right now.

And everyone struggles. The pretty picture they paint on their social media is not an accurate depiction of their lives. The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our "behind-the-scenes" with everyone else's highlight reel.  We fail to see the good that we are because we are so blinded by what we think is good. So don't be jealous of others, don't compare. You are uniquely you and you have something everyone else doesn't have. You don't have to change yourself to fit in.

Life is so much more than all the trivial and materialistic things we worry about. I believe that in order to obtain inner peace and my ideal being, I need to just let things be. Simply be.

“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

— Marcus Aurelius 

I am sure many of you have probably heard the phrase “Let it be” or “Que sera, sera”. It just means that instead of struggling to change things we cannot change, we should change the way we think about it. We must understand that many things are not within our control and everything is pretty much unpredictable.  Only when we are able to come to terms with the fluidity that is life, will we be able to sail along with the currents and not get washed over. When we wish for things and we do not understand that it might possibly not go our way, we get beaten down and disappointed when it really doesn’t turn out right. But if we understand that we can’t control everything, we will be calm in the face of adversity and we will also be in a better state to solve the problem.

It's not that we should leave everything up to fate and stop working hard for the things we want,  but sometimes when things don't go our way we just need to take a deep breath and accept it. You don't have to be anyone else, just your best self.

I'm flawed, but I'm alive and that's something to be happy about.

Alek Wek's mother told her she was beautiful all the time, and she believed it.

Who tf is Alexa??????

Some of you might be wondering "WTF? Since when was Fang Rong's name Alexa?".. Well here's the explanation.

Being a little girl with a Chinese name while everyone else had "cool" English names, I've always wanted an English name ever since I was young. I've wanted to look for a name that started with the letter A because both my siblings' self-given English names began with an A (Ashley, Aaron). So when I was in primary school I tried a couple of names like Angel (omg) and Arielle (oooomg) but they never lasted. When I was secondary two, I came across the names Alexa and Alexis and I fell in love with them.  I love how they looked and sounded but more importantly I love the meaning.

Alexa/Alexis
Form of Alexander. From the Greek name Αλεξις (Alexis), which meant "helper" or "defender" of mankind, derived from Greek αλεξω (alexo) "to defend, to help". 

If you were close to me then, you'd know that I really REALLY loved those names. However, I felt that it was too late to change my name because everyone already knew me as Fang Rong or Fang. So although I really identified with those names, I let them slide.


Recently, I met a new friend and she also had a Chinese name but coincidentally she named herself Alexa too. We talked about it for a bit and it really set me thinking and gave me a boost to try the name Alexa once more. I bravely (yes, it required a fair amount of courage) added Alexa to my Instagram name to kinda test the name out. It has been about three weeks now and I'm actually really liking it!

I will start introducing myself as Alexa to new people from now on and maybe in a couple of years I'll add Alexa into my NRIC. 




Signing off,
Foo Fang Rong, Alexa ;-)

Kindness Begins with Yourself

I've been too hard on myself.

Everyone has the right to feel what they feel, but all this while I've denied myself this right — thinking that it was all my fault that this happened. 

"Be the bigger person Fang, forgive and bury the hatchet."

I've tried to push everything aside and start over. I forgave, and I tried. I tried to control the jealousy and feelings of betrayal. But every Snapchat/tweet/Instagram picture, I just ache a little inside. I used to be there doing that, but not anymore. I feel like I'm a bad person, letting negativity get the better of me. It almost feels like being forced to hang out with my ex lover and his new girlfriend and pretend I'm comfortable. 

I looked at myself become bitter and bitchy and thought, what is wrong with me? This shouldn't even affect me? This is nothing. People have the right to make new friends with one another if they clicked better.

Well if new friendships were natural occurences that can't be helped, I believe I too deserve to be true to how I feel (which also can't be help). The fact is, I should feel sad, I should feel betrayed. Every emotion has a reason and it won't go away until it has taught us what needed to be learnt. All along I was convinced that I needed to stop whatever I was feeling, that I just needed to be more understanding and kind. But I wasn't treated the same way, no effort was made to consider my feelings. If anyone else had been in my situation, they'd understand, hopefully.

Be kind to others, but be kinder to yourself.

Maybe Second Best is the Best

“May my heart be kind, my mind fierce, and my spirit brave.”

—	Kate Forsyth

It's already a month into 2015 and I haven't done my annual sum up of 2014 hahaha.. 2014 was the best year of my life so far. If you guys have been following my (pretty much desert-like) blog for the past few years, my annual year reviews were something like

"this year was tough" 

"this year was a roller-coaster" 

"probably my worst year yet"

Well on the contrary, 2014 was rather smooth sailing for me. 2014 was in fact the best year I've probably had. Of course, the major highlight was meeting Didier. 

We are always so obsessed with Firsts - first time you kissed someone, first time you held hands, first time you loved someone, first time you had your heart utterly broken by another human. However, we don't give enough credit to Seconds - when someone picked up the fallen pieces of your heart, showed you you deserved much more love than you were shown, made you fall in love once more despite of your wary heart.

I don't believe in getting into flings and relationships that have no substance, however, I do believe in loving freely and deeply and giving yourself ample chances. When I first met Didier (January 2014), I was well recovered from my previous heartbreak, very comfortable with being alone and I didn't want to get into a new relationship because I was convinced that I'd be better alone.

So when Didier and I were in our going-out phase, I was reluctant to get together with him. I even told Candace, "I'm like 90% sure I won't get together with Didier". There was nothing wrong with him, I just did not want to give another person a chance to shatter my heart once more. I was afraid, and I didn't want to take the risk.

However, as we continued to hang out, I knew Didier was different. I felt so comfortable with him. We didn't have much in common, in fact we differed greatly in our interests. But something felt right, we were on the same frequency. I found myself being 100% Fang Rong to someone, something that I've never done before with anyone. I never knew I could be loved and accepted for all my flaws. He made me love once more, after being convinced that I might possibly never find love ever again. I could go on and on forever on how special he is as a person but that'd take too much effort and.....I'm lazy hahahaha

All jokes aside, thank you for being the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My Superman

All of you who feel lonely and rejected, listen up now. Everything happens for a good reason. A few months before I met Didier I was at the pit bottom of my life, everything was horribly wrong. I was very sad and the future just seemed so bleak. But suddenly, something in me realised that I had the power to change my life around. I actively sought for help and read books that motivated me tremendously. I used that sadness positively and empowered myself to have a positive outlook of people and life. I had time to heal and to become one with myself and my emotions. All that made me emotionally and mentally stable and ready for a healthy relationship when I met Didier. Looking back now, I'm glad I felt unloved and broken before I met Didier. Because now I know, God was saving me for someone special.

Love yourself first. “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

In other news, I took a big leap of faith and entered a new school in 2014. Turned out to be an amazing decision as well as now I very much enjoy studying and going to school :-) I've proven to myself yet again, always do something you love and enjoy (heart) > something that is more practical (head). 

Other stuff that happened to me in 2014 made me a sour person. I found myself consumed in jealousy and negativity and I feel like I have changed so much since February last year. I was so positive and hopeful. Now trusting people required some sort of consideration. But I guess the most important thing is to be self-aware. I am aware that I haven't been my best self lately, and I am going to start with small baby steps to steer myself back to the right direction. Life is a constant process of self-improvement. And like I always believed, "Change the way you think, change your life". Forgive. :-)

As a whole, 2014 was very kind towards me and I love my life very much right now. 

Thought your first love was magical? Wait till your second.

Love The Person, Not The Gender

Pink Dot is a non-profit initiative to promote the acceptance of the LGBT community in Singapore. I strongly believe that it is a great project because what we need in this world is love, acceptance and non-judgement. I am definitely attending this year's Pink Dot. In my excitement, I Googled for more information on Pink Dot and found myself at the comment section of this video. Please do take your time to read the comments if you would like to understand the intensity of disgust I am currently feeling right now.

Bringing up my point on non-judgement, honestly, who are we to judge? All these arguments that different people should not be accepted is saddening. If you're a female opposing this idea, how does it feel like if we're still living in the olden times where females are looked down upon and despised as lower humans? If you're Asian and people criticise you for your skin colour, how would you feel about that? 

Racism, Sexism, Ageism, and other -isms. 

It is the same logic here. Just because people are different doesn't mean that we should judge them. Haven't we heard of the saying "everyone is different and unique in their special way"? If you agree with that, let me bring your attention to some of the absurd comments made on the above video in promotion of the Pink Dot 2014 campaign.

How would you feel if you were gay and reading these comments? It's okay to disagree but it is not okay to be so terribly rude and insensitive about it. Is there really a need to be so unkind?

In Wenwen Lam's argument, if we cannot fit into a society we should just kill ourselves. I'd say that Wenwen Lam is thinking like Hitler. Let's just gas chamber Asians, Blacks, Females, Hispanics, People with Disabilities! Oh and since we are at it, how about including ignorant people? I mean, they don't fit into our society right? Because they're different. Why not just have a bunch of synonymous humans who are Caucasian, blonde and smart? 

What Wenwen Lam is implying in his/her stance is that, if you don't fit the social norms you should kill yourself. If you're fat, kill yourself. If you're skinny, kill yourself. If you're not pretty/handsome, kill yourself. We should not accept people because they are different. That's what you're implying right Wenwen Lam?

I might be rambling, but I am trying to bring across a point. Just because people are different does not mean we should treat them any different.

Most of you reading this are not gay or bisexual or transgender. Neither am I. But what if you were? What if you genuinely loved someone from your same gender with all your heart? What if the tables turned and we were only supposed to like people from the same gender? Are we correct to think that we should love the gender and not the person for who he/she is?

Should we discriminate against the minority because they are the minority?

Touching on the transgender point, many of the transgender individuals feel that they were trapped in the wrong body since a young age. They had picked up so much courage to stand for what they believed in and changed their sex. It is not easy to make a decision to change your gender, especially considering the amount of judgemental people in this world. I would like to take this moment to say that I am so proud of all you warriors. 

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Maybe you don't want to love them. But in this day and age where everyone is judging everyone, would you rather be loved and accepted for your differences or ridiculed and mocked for them?

What I am pleading you for once, is to let go of all prejudice and hate. Close your eyes and put yourself in their shoes. Try and understand for once. Does your disgust at the sight of two women holding hands give you the rights to hurt other people with your unkind words?

You might ask, how about the religious aspect of this argument? My response to that is, I believe every religion, how different, revolves around the values of love, kindness, acceptance and non-judgement. Yes, the bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, but did the bible also state to hate people who are different? Hate the sin, not the sinner. I would like to emphasise that I am not religious, therefore my argument here might not be accurate. But this is what I feel. Will God rather we love or hate? 

"Whatever your religion is or if you don't have one, God created us or something must have created us. So whoever created us, have made us straight, gay, lesbian etc. So who are we to go against that something or God when we ourselves are not the Creator but the created ones. The purity of the heart comes not from waging hatred but accepting you, me and everyone else as equal beings, nothing more and nothing less. For there is a point of time when each of us shall return to the Creator or that something and its either you return good or you return bad. What makes you feel so damn sure that you are gonna be a part of Heaven when your whole life is dedicated to condemning other beings that you think are doing everything wrong and all that you have done is purely right. Negativity in this life exist because people are still discriminating without realizing that negative and positive attracts which then creates a strong equilibrium that translates into a word called PEACE. If you think you still deserve to be a part of Heaven, how about start that journey by learning to LOVE, and most importantly learn to be HUMAN." (https://www.facebook.com/schazwan.soldato/posts/10152254447873261)

We can make a change together. We're blaming 'society' yet we are society. So to make it a better place, we must first change ourselves first. Start from yourself. When you see a gay couple in public, smile at them. When you see a transgender on the street, smile at them. Wait, fuck that. Smile at everyone you see because we are all the same and smiles are powerful :-) Rid yourselves of all those negative judgemental thoughts and love.

Sometimes we only see how people are different from us, but if you look hard enough, you can see how much we're all alike. We are all humans, we all have a heart, a brain and we are so similar. We desire to love and be loved by the people around us. 

Do people who are different deserve less love than the people who "fit the society"?

I am not expecting people to change their views after reading my post. After all Paul Coelho said "Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear". But I hope, at the very least, that I have set some of you thinking. We cannot simply accept everything the society throws on us. 

People who are still anti-LGBT, I hope that you can at least be kinder with your words. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, and so are the people of the LGBT community. You might not agree that it's right, and that's fine. I believe humans can coexist with their differences as long as people are accepting and understanding towards each others' differences.

People who are pro-LGBT, thank you for being so understanding. I hope that you will also understand that there will always be people who are against LGBT, and it is okay. Stand strong for what you believe in and hope for a better world. Hope that one day, we can see two men holding hands at a supermarket as something as normal as receiving treatment from a female doctor.

All you lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender fighters, be strong. There will be change, slowly but surely. There are many people who support you lovely humans.

My sister told me, "We won't be able to change people's thinking. We can only be less judgemental ourselves in the hopes of making people around us less judgemental also." Against or pro LGBT, I hope that humans can be kinder to one another regardless of their skin colour, gender, age or sexuality.

For more information on Pink Dot 2014, check out their website http://pinkdot.sg! See you there in pink :-)

Lonely Advice

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.                                                                           
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2013.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5. The best is yet to come.
6. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.