There are times I look at myself. And all I see is all that I'm not. All that I could be and all that I should be. I centre my thoughts around negativity. I think, why am I like this? Maybe I should be like her instead. I sometimes even feel ashamed of myself. And it's stupid. No one should ever feel ashamed of who they are just because they don't comply with a set of standards that god knows who created. Who is to say what is an ideal person and put others down based on that?
I fail to see the people around me who love me despite all the flaws. I fail to recognise my talents and give myself some credit for it. I fail to realise that I'm not who I am because of what others are like.
I think this stems from humans' terrible habit of judging. We ourselves know the mean things we are capable of saying about another person so we feel the need to be perfect to ensure that others won't harbour such thoughts about us. A huge huge flaw in our society. We tend to feel that we are superior or inferior compared to others and that brings about an imbalance that doesn't need to exist. Being judgemental will always come back and bite us in the butt, an undying cycle that is often overlooked.
So I urge you to refrain from judging others. Stop all negative thoughts about others. Instead, try to empathise. Understand why others are the way they are, and always remember that however they are, they are not better or worse than you. If we can view everyone else as our brothers and sisters on this Earth, nothing more and nothing less than ourselves, we will understand the true meaning of coexisting in harmony. Without prejudice or hate. We will not only be able to eliminate self-esteem issues, but many global issues that are plaguing our world today.
Fret not because we are very much in control. All we have to do is change the way we think. We have a choice to look past the person we are not and work on the person we want to be. This is framed by the thoughts we have - about ourselves and the world around us. As humans, it is arguably within our nature to be greedy and to always want what we can't have. That can be a good thing, a driving force for improvement. But if taken the wrong direction, it can lead us to a never ending road of discontentment.
For me, I don't want to be the person I'm jealous over. I don't want to have a nice body or many friends. I realised I don't need that, because that isn't me. I want to be the best me I can be. I want to appreciate all that I've got because to be honest, I'm pretty damn lucky myself (and I'm sure you are too).
Life is a continuous learning journey and although I write these words I know I will continue to doubt myself, second guess my worth and feel upset from time to time. But that's okay, as long as I keep in my heart that we are all humans and we are all equal. And through it all, I'm just me.
