Thursday, June 19, 2014

Love The Person, Not The Gender



Pink Dot is a non-profit initiative to promote the acceptance of the LGBT community in Singapore. I strongly believe that it is a great project because what we need in this world is love, acceptance and non-judgement. I am definitely attending this year's Pink Dot. In my excitement, I Googled for more information on Pink Dot and found myself at the comment section of this video. Please do take your time to read the comments if you would like to understand the intensity of disgust I am currently feeling right now.


Bringing up my point on non-judgement, honestly, who are we to judge? All these arguments that different people should not be accepted is saddening. If you're a female opposing this idea, how does it feel like if we're still living in the olden times where females are looked down upon and despised as lower humans? If you're Asian and people criticise you for your skin colour, how would you feel about that? 


Racism, Sexism, Ageism, and other -isms. 


It is the same logic here. Just because people are different doesn't mean that we should judge them. Haven't we heard of the saying "everyone is different and unique in their special way"? If you agree with that, let me bring your attention to some of the absurd comments made on the above video in promotion of the Pink Dot 2014 campaign.




How would you feel if you were gay and reading these comments? It's okay to disagree but it is not okay to be so terribly rude and insensitive about it. Is there really a need to be so unkind?

In Wenwen Lam's argument, if we cannot fit into a society we should just kill ourselves. I'd say that Wenwen Lam is thinking like Hitler. Let's just gas chamber Asians, Blacks, Females, Hispanics, People with Disabilities! Oh and since we are at it, how about including ignorant people? I mean, they don't fit into our society right? Because they're different. Why not just have a bunch of synonymous humans who are Caucasian, blonde and smart? 

What Wenwen Lam is implying in his/her stance is that, if you don't fit the social norms you should kill yourself. If you're fat, kill yourself. If you're skinny, kill yourself. If you're not pretty/handsome, kill yourself. We should not accept people because they are different. That's what you're implying right Wenwen Lam?

I might be rambling, but I am trying to bring across a point. Just because people are different does not mean we should treat them any different.


Most of you reading this are not gay or bisexual or transgender. Neither am I. But what if you were? What if you genuinely loved someone from your same gender with all your heart? What if the tables turned and we were only supposed to like people from the same gender? Are we correct to think that we should love the gender and not the person for who he/she is?

Should we discriminate against the minority because they are the minority?

Touching on the transgender point, many of the transgender individuals feel that they were trapped in the wrong body since a young age. They had picked up so much courage to stand for what they believed in and changed their sex. It is not easy to make a decision to change your gender, especially considering the amount of judgemental people in this world. I would like to take this moment to say that I am so proud of all you warriors. 

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Maybe you don't want to love them. But in this day and age where everyone is judging everyone, would you rather be loved and accepted for your differences or ridiculed and mocked for them?

What I am pleading you for once, is to let go of all prejudice and hate. Close your eyes and put yourself in their shoes. Try and understand for once. Does your disgust at the sight of two women holding hands give you the rights to hurt other people with your unkind words?

You might ask, how about the religious aspect of this argument? My response to that is, I believe every religion, how different, revolves around the values of love, kindness, acceptance and non-judgement. Yes, the bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, but did the bible also state to hate people who are different? Hate the sin, not the sinner. I would like to emphasise that I am not religious, therefore my argument here might not be accurate. But this is what I feel. Will God rather we love or hate

"Whatever your religion is or if you don't have one, God created us or something must have created us. So whoever created us, have made us straight, gay, lesbian etc. So who are we to go against that something or God when we ourselves are not the Creator but the created ones. The purity of the heart comes not from waging hatred but accepting you, me and everyone else as equal beings, nothing more and nothing less. For there is a point of time when each of us shall return to the Creator or that something and its either you return good or you return bad. What makes you feel so damn sure that you are gonna be a part of Heaven when your whole life is dedicated to condemning other beings that you think are doing everything wrong and all that you have done is purely right. Negativity in this life exist because people are still discriminating without realizing that negative and positive attracts which then creates a strong equilibrium that translates into a word called PEACE. If you think you still deserve to be a part of Heaven, how about start that journey by learning to LOVE, and most importantly learn to be HUMAN." (https://www.facebook.com/schazwan.soldato/posts/10152254447873261)


We can make a change together. We're blaming 'society' yet we are society. So to make it a better place, we must first change ourselves first. Start from yourself. When you see a gay couple in public, smile at them. When you see a transgender on the street, smile at them. Wait, fuck that. Smile at everyone you see because we are all the same and smiles are powerful :-) Rid yourselves of all those negative judgemental thoughts and love.

Sometimes we only see how people are different from us, but if you look hard enough, you can see how much we're all alike. We are all humans, we all have a heart, a brain and we are so similar. We desire to love and be loved by the people around us. 


Do people who are different deserve less love than the people who "fit the society"?


I am not expecting people to change their views after reading my post. After all Paul Coelho said "Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear". But I hope, at the very least, that I have set some of you thinking. We cannot simply accept everything the society throws on us. 

People who are still anti-LGBT, I hope that you can at least be kinder with your words. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, and so are the people of the LGBT community. You might not agree that it's right, and that's fine. I believe humans can coexist with their differences as long as people are accepting and understanding towards each others' differences.


People who are pro-LGBT, thank you for being so understanding. I hope that you will also understand that there will always be people who are against LGBT, and it is okay. Stand strong for what you believe in and hope for a better world. Hope that one day, we can see two men holding hands at a supermarket as something as normal as receiving treatment from a female doctor.


All you lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender fighters, be strong. There will be change, slowly but surely. There are many people who support you lovely humans.


My sister told me, "We won't be able to change people's thinking. We can only be less judgemental ourselves in the hopes of making people around us less 
judgemental also." Against or pro LGBT, I hope that humans can be kinder to one another regardless of their skin colour, gender, age or sexuality.




For more information on Pink Dot 2014, check out their website http://pinkdot.sg! See you there in pink :-)

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Lonely Advice

Health:
  1. Drink plenty of water.                                                                           
  2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
  3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
  4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
  5. Play more games.
  6. Read more books than you did in 2013.
  7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
  8. Sleep for 7 hours.
  9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
  1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
  3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
  4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
  6. Dream more while you are awake.
  7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
  9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
  10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
  11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
  13. Smile and laugh more.
  14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
  1. Call your family often.
  2. Each day give something good to others.
  3. Forgive everyone for everything.
  4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
  5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
  6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
  1. Do the right thing!
  2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
  3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 
  4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  5. The best is yet to come.
  6. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.



Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Body Positivity


http://throneroom-of-the-damned.tumblr.com/post/63266883247/body-positivity-for-the-win-9-out-of-16-are-woc










“But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—BeyoncĂ© brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.”

― Tina Fey


At what age did you start noticing your physical flaws? At what age did beauty start to mean concealing pimples, covering fats and losing weight?


Fuck what society thinks. It is hard to look like the "perfect" person okay. That's a fact we must accept and embrace. Only 10 out of 100 (obviously accurate, not) look that good. Have a mind of your own.


Don't judge others, be more understanding and loving. If we can change the way we treat others, we can change the way this world works. Slowly but surely. Love is the way to go.


I believe those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Work on being super awesome instead of crying about not looking "perfect". Work on the things you can actually change (and that is being productive, good job).


Be kinder, help people out whenever you can, connect with nature, play a sport, sing a song, heal yourself. Be the best version of yourself and I am sure many people will love you for it. 


What's in your heart and mind determines the lifelong relationships you will build with the people around you (and not how you look like a supermodel all day every day).


Learn to accept your body and all your insecurities. Learn to love yourself first. If you don't, who will? 


Exercise to be healthy, put makeup to feel even more fabulous than you already are, dress to be yourself.


You are beautiful. Boy, girl, fat, thin, muscular, short, tall, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, straight, disabled, flat-chested, too much boobs, caucasian, asian, chicken, cow, dog, bird. 


You are beautiful to me as long as you have a big heart, a deep mind and a great personality.



It's hard, I know. If you need a listening ear or a helping hand, foofangrong6@gmail.com.





Photo credits: http://throneroom-of-the-damned.tumblr.com/post/63266883247/body-positivity-for-the-win-9-out-of-16-are-woc

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Zendagi Migzara


30 Lessons I've learnt from 2013:
  1. Love and kindness is always the way.
  2. Everything is a mind game. Change the way you think, change your life.
  3. Everything still happens for a good reason, if there's no good reason for it, it wouldn't happen. Either a blessing or a lesson.
  4. Accept things the way they are. Only then you can find inner peace and happiness even in the dullest moments.
  5. Hold on to those who never left you. 
  6. Hard times reveal true friends. 
  7. Pain is real, but so is hope.
  8. People judge what they don't understand.
  9. If we aren’t living vulnerably, in connection with others, we aren’t really living at all.
  10. Be the kind of person you want to be friends with. 
  11. Let go of negative people. Surround yourself with who and what you want to be.
  12. Sadness is healthy. Welcome sadness, just don’t let it consume you.
  13. Some loneliness and silence is necessary and healthy. Filling every minute makes it hard to listen to our intuition, or that inner guiding voice.
  14. Spend time alone, reading, writing, art, music and exercise heal you.
  15. Traveling heals.
  16. Nature heals.
  17. Good things take time.
  18. Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a larger intelligence and a deeper heart.
  19. View everything from different perspectives.
  20. Don't bother comparing yourself with people. Be the best version of yourself and stay true to yourself. Many people will love you for that.
  21. Your mother was right about it all, and if she wasn’t, her heart was in the right place.
  22. Feel free to fall, but always be prepared to catch yourself.
  23. All things are difficult before they are easy.
  24. Listen, love, apologise, forgive.
  25. All things are delicately interconnected.
  26. Whatever comes, let it come. What stays, let it stay. What goes, let it go. Let it be.
  27. You will find happiness when you stop hiding.
  28. Always try to be the reason someone smiles. Always help people whenever you can. Small gestures can amount to a lot.
  29. Some things never change.
  30. The best thing you can put on is confidence.



Some of my favourite quotes from 2013:

  • “Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.” — Osho
  • “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” — The Dalai Lama
  • Some people think to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, it’s the strongest people who feel it, understand it, and accept it.
  • What this world needs is a group hug.
  • "You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them." — Iyanla Vanzant  
  • "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn." — C.S Lewis
  • “The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday.” — David Levithan, Every Day
  • Sometimes, when you are not getting the love you want, giving makes you think you will.
  • We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don't, we worry it's not there.
  • "What touches you is what you touch.” — Margaret Atwood
  • “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” — Theodore Roosevelt
  • "Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me. No hope no harm, just another false alarm." — The Smiths
  • "This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." — Elizabeth Gilbert
  • “Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.”
  • “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
  • When someone is unlovable, that's when they need love most.

Even when we were sad we were happy

2013 has gone and 2014 has already begun. (Seems like it's becoming a tradition to cry when the clock approaches 12mn every 31st of Decemeber)

I can feel myself growing further and further away from 2013. One part of me wants to stay. Hold on to all the memories, good and bad. Maybe even relive them.
The other part of me wants to move on. To have a new beginning. To start afresh with the lessons I've learnt.

But I obviously know which way I need to go.

Last year was a big mess but I found good in it. I've managed to find love in the worst situations and I am thankful for that.

I'm thankful for the mornings in school that I found someone to cry to, to talk to.
Afternoons of dance and filming to distract me from sadness and despair (and it made me happy actually).
Evenings with the best friend and the soul-mate at some playground, drinking from plastic cups, stargazing and soul-searching.
And the nights that turned into dawns.


Is it possible to hold on and move on at the same time though?


I can safely say that 2013 was a year of growth.
2014 shall be a year of action.


Maybe I like this roller coaster / Maybe it keeps me high