Exhaustion, don't blame me for wanting to lose myself

Somehow even when we are completely exhausted: physically, emotionally, mentally (and whatever other way possible), we are still expected to continue pushing. We are supposed to suck it down like a man and carry on. And possibly with a smile on our faces.

When all you want to do is lie down and figure your life out, no, you have to worry about your math test. Or your relationships with people. Or undone homework. Or co-curricular commitments. Or next week's tests that you're defo going to fail. Or a script not memorized. Or your projects that are due in a day. Or your plans for the weekend. Or the incessant fear of failing (at everything). Or if you're going to even sleep at all tonight. Or having to wake up tomorrow and face another day of the same worries.

I feel like my world is now just covered with a blanket of unending gloom, fears, responsibilities and deadlines. 

Sometimes I wish I had a pause button. To just stop time for a while. To smile. To love. To truly enjoy life. To breathe. 

Side note: You made me realize that I've been in a dark dark (and smelly) place for a whole 13 months. Thank you for being my ray of sunshine although I doubt you will ever know that I'm referring to you. 

Side side note: I love you Kimmy and Lynnie SO MUCH ♡